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1978 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN – ON THE ISSUE FREAKS OF NATURE… ODDITIES OF BIRTH in… A TRIBUTE TO FILM PARANOIA!! AT THE ROXIE THE FIVE THOUSAND FINDERS OF DR. T

1978
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN – ON THE
ISSUE FREAKS OF NATURE…
ODDITIES OF BIRTH in…
A TRIBUTE TO FILM PARANOIA!!
AT THE ROXIE
THE FIVE THOUSAND FINDERS OF DR. T Made
in 1953 in color, Hollywood’s and the fifties
forgotten fantasy that is probably the strangest
film ever made with a beginnings, middle and
end, in that order. It is also the only feature
film ever made of Dr. Suess’s work and actually
had his collaboration.

The dream (substitute for plot) involves a
young boy (Tommy Retig of Lassie, recently
sent to prison in the 70’s for cocaine possession)
who is forced to take piano lessons from Dr.
Terwilliger (played with incredible zest and
nastiness by HANS CONREID). The boys parents
(Peter Lind Hayes & Mary Healy) won’t listen
to his pleas of mercy and he is forced to escape
to a world of dreams in which his mother is
under the evil teachers spell and his father
must be convinced that she must be rescued.

Even in his dream he is not safe from the piano
lessons that take place is a huge football sized
field with bleachers as never ending keyboards
circling fortress Terwilliger and he ultimately
must make his escape thru underground
dungeons, in which all the other little boys
that resisted music lessons are eternally
doomed and have mutated into the instrument
that they despise the most, (playing themselves
for eternity.) This scene alone is worth the price
of admission and is beyond belief, as is Dr.
Suess’s thinly disguised comments on children’s
oppression and the adult world of authority,
coercion and ‘if it hurts, it’s good for you”
mentality. Even the paranoid fifties thought this
film was too-much and besides- it was paranoid
of the wrong things!

Dr. T will be shown at 6:30 and 9:30 p.m. It
will be more difficult to understand if even the
first few minutes are missed…so come early.

AND AT NO EXTRA COLST……CATCH AS CATCH
CAN Made in 1969 in Italy, color. A truly
unknown film, in fact, it is not even commercially
available in the United States and unless your
response is as ecstatic as we imagine, it probably
never will be. So be sure and tell the Roxie
Management, who have also never seen either
of these films (or even heard of them) that it
must be resurrected!

Vitorio Gassman plays an Italian actor of tv
commercials, whose arrogance, masculine ego
and horror of dirt, the outdoors and anything
not antiseptic compels all of the animals,
insects, fish, and birds within a five mile radius
to try to destroy his disdain and mistrust of his
own animal and to crack his ego and arrogance
once and for all. If you think that is a bizarre
idea for a plot (and we won’t quibble, it is) wait
until you see the results when he is driven to
madness and BEYOND. See it at 8 & 11 p.m.

Everyone who previewed this film said they
thought it was THE funniest film they ever saw
in their life. So ladies and gentlemen, decide for
yourself in our offering of (possibly) the strang-
est film ever made AND the funniest film ever
forgotten in a true tribute to PARANOIA IN THE
CINEMA. AND THANKS TO THE ROXIE FOR
MAKING THIS BENEFIT POSSIBLE.

“Anything that does not kill me
makes me stronger”
– F. W. Nietzsche

RULES GOVERNING A HEARSE AS SET FORTH IN MORTICIAN’S MONTHLY DIGEST

RULES GOVERNING A HEARSE AS SET FORTH IN MORTICIAN’S MONTHLY DIGEST

I.   The hearse can be used for newsletter events, transporting materials to set up an event and scouting, although newsletter events take precedence over all others. Spot events are qualified by calling and contacting
five other members to ask them to accompany you. They do not have to be able to though. Scouting is the same and transporting is taking one other with you.

II The hearse is available to rent to other members of the club, for moving, etc. at the rate of 15 cents a mile plus gas (fee set by our mechanic) and the renter must get one of the donors to drive.

III There must be two people in the hearse at all times, in the cab, to help the driver park and pass and to be a witness in disputes (the hearse is 19 feet long).

IV The hearse can not be driven under the influence of drugs or alcohol and NO drugs and NO unsealed or open containers of liquor can be in the hearse at any time.

V A logbook will be placed in the hearse with two uses:
A) Beginning Mileage/ Driver/ How many riders/ Use Fee Collected/ Ending Mileage
B) To reserve the hearse for future events, see instructions on the back page. These will be called in to the newsletter editor at noon on the day events are due and these reservations will take precedence over any
events from any other source.

VI Use Fee: A straight 75 cents per person will be collected at the BEGINNING of each trip including the driver. The driver (or the fund) will not, repeat, NOT loan this money and it will be borrowed from another rider or
the hapless individual will have to ride in another car.

VII Gas will be divided evenly between all riders, including the driver, based on 15 cents a mile. This fee could change as we get more data on the way the car drives. It must be TOPPED OFF!

VIII INSURANCE: No matter who is driving, under Cal State Law, registered owner must sue registered owner. The car is in David Warren’s name and insurance will be purchased on a quarterly basis.

IX Tickets: Tickets will also be on David’s name if the car is parked or towed when they are received. Every ticket a driver receives must be paid within 10 days and the DRIVER is ultimately responsible for tickets and towing and it is up to THEM to convince their riders that they should share in the cost since it is ultimately their judgment that is responsible.

X Parking: The hearse must be parked a reasonable distance (4-6 blocks) if possible) from the site of an illegal event. We cannot park in metered spaces because it is illegal to take up more than one parking space where
there are meters. We have to park in unlimited areas of up to 30 minutes in a yellow zone after 6 pm but before that you will be ticketed after a half hour just like anyone else.XI The gas tank must be filled at the end of each trip, and must be topped off. Since every one will have been taken home before the final mileage is computed. When the event is over and you are taking people to their homes, and a round figure to the mileage you already have and estimate where it will be by the time you fill it completely up and the end. Do not let any one out before this is done. The use and gas fee is from departure point to each individual’s home, thus justifying so many expenses (somewhat). 

XII The car will be parked on Lincoln between 14th and 12th Ave. on the SOUTH side of the street. If it is parked on the North side, along the park, it will be towed! It must be locked. 

XIII The keyholders are the original donors, who do not consider themselves owners and are bound by the same rules as everyone else. In fact, they made them- to use the hearse, to rent it, you must talk one of them into driving it for you. These donors now, as of Jan. 11, 1978 are: Adrienne Burk, David Warren, Pierre Barral, Kathy Hearty, Bob Campbell, John Law, Jayson Wechter, Todd Strong, Peter Field, Gary Warner, Jim Freund, and Steve Mobia.

Rules are seen here as present ways to avoid future conflicts. There will probably be additional rules as additional problems arrive. The use fee is for repairs to be incurred at a later date and to save up for registration ($76 a year). We will be gathering a list of 24 hour gas stations in the back of the log book- any entries you can provide in different parts of town would be appreciated. Also late night restaurants.