History

THE SAN FRANCISCO SUICIDE CLUB
DESCRIPTION, 1977:
Have you ever explored a subterranean sewer
at night with forty other people; climbed three
stories on a swinging rope ladder to dine on the
roof of a condemned building; staged practical
jokes you’ve always fantasized about?
No…? How about dinner at Rev. Moon’s or
talking a policeman into hitting you with a pie?
Well… we hadn’t either. The surviving members
of the S.F. SUICIDE CLUB have agreed to
EXPERIENCE THINGS THEY HAVEN’T
EXPERIENCED BEFORE. In most cases they are
challenges that we wouldn’t or couldn’t do
alone because of the danger or need for team
work. A large group also provides more investi-
gators into the unknown, as uncovering mystery
and adventure in the 20th Century requires a
lot more detective work. Events generally fall
into three categories: Adventures, infiltrations,
and stunts. As you may notice in the above em-
phasized phrase, no WHY or PHILIOSOPHY is
attached…

PURPOSE:
Fill in the blank yourself.
WHAT IT HAS NOT BEEN: So far, there has
been no President, no voting, no meetings, no
collectives, committees or consensus, no rules
agreed on by everyone, no dares, no mandatory
experiences. We do have initiations, but atten-
dance at them is not required in order to
participate in the club. We are neither secretive
nor publicity seeking, but we also do not
encourage the vicarious. Journalists or photo-
graphers must join the club and experience
the events themselves in order to record them
- we do not give armchair interviews.
HYSTERY: On January 2, 1977 gale warnings
were issued in San Francisco, and, at midnight,
four friends unexplainedly found themselves
holding onto handrails as 20 foot waves broke
over them. Afterwards, they agreed they
wanted to explore other such experiences in a
larger group of friends. The SUICIDE CLUB was
chosen as a name, based on the Robert Louis
Stevenson story of a club that gamed at mid-
night, the losers forfeiting their lives. The name
was chosen to alienate and frighten people
away. It was offered in the Spring ’77 catalog
of Communiversity, a San Francisco Alternative
University without fees. Suicide Club initiation
now follows Communiversity’s trinary catalog
publications and registration on the 3rd Sat-
urday of Feb. and June and on Halloween week-
end. The Club has two annual events:
A Champagne Dinner on the Golden Gate Bridge
on the last Friday of February and a MASSIVE
TREASURE HUNT taking place amidst the chaos
of the Chinese New Years Parade comprised of
opposing teams, culminating in a water balloon
and pie fight at the final destination on the last
Saturday of February.

MEMBERSHIP:
The membership in the San Francisco Suicide
Club is divided into three (3) separate, distinc-
tive groups, one, associate, two, regular, and
three, eternal members. To become an as-
sociate member you need only send _____ for
______ newsletters and your associate mem-
bership card, (on the back of your associate
card is stamped a large ASS.) Your ASS.ociate
membership card allows you to attend any of
the events listed and become a regular member.
To qualify for eternal membership a member
must sponsor or convene an event for which
they receive a Death certificate, (an event of
some special achievement). Any member may
convene or sponsor an event by completing and
following through with the “Planned Chaos” form
which are available to all members without
charge.
San Francisco SUICIDE CLUB tee-shirts are
available to $3.50, for anyone, member or not,
who has gone on an event.

APPLICATIONS:
Application forms are your introduction to
fantasy. Even if you don’t believe your ideas
are realizable- Fantasize: ADVENTURES- INFIL-
TRATIONS- STUNTS.
DECISION MAKING AND LEADERSHIP:
The individual creating an event is totally
responsible for planning it and any rules to
be followed. Their ideas on are not voted on,
amended or censored; ultimately members vote
with their feet. Convenors do write up what they
feel were their mistakes in planning afterwards,
if they want, and any subsequent rules they will
offer for their next events as a 1) warning, or 2)
assurance (depending on whether you like the
rule or not). A Questionnaire- “Planned Chaos” is
used for write-ups and includes the questions
overlooked in the past.
RISK: Possibility of physical injury and/or arrest
is an ever-present part of many, but not all,
adventures. These are not sought out and write-
ups usually attempt to detail their possibility and
how the leader plans to avoid it. We are
becoming very experienced in this area.

MAILING ADDRESS:
S.F. SUICIDE CLUB, P.O. BOX 7734,
S.F. CA. 94120

The Club maintains the MUSUEM OF THE
INCONSEQUENTIAL at 451 Judah at 10th Ave.,
open 2-7 pm, Mon-Sat. IT is a collection of the
disgusting, bizarre, and fun loving groups and
events other denizens of the solar system have
created.

DIVEST YOURSELF OF EXPECTATIONS
SOLIDARITY IS A NECESSITY
PLAY IT OUT TO THE END.

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1978
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN – ON THE
ISSUE FREAKS OF NATURE…
ODDITIES OF BIRTH in…
A TRIBUTE TO FILM PARANOIA!!
AT THE ROXIE
THE FIVE THOUSAND FINDERS OF DR. T Made
in 1953 in color, Hollywood’s and the fifties
forgotten fantasy that is probably the strangest
film ever made with a beginnings, middle and
end, in that order. It is also the only feature
film ever made of Dr. Suess’s work and actually
had his collaboration.

The dream (substitute for plot) involves a
young boy (Tommy Retig of Lassie, recently
sent to prison in the 70’s for cocaine possession)
who is forced to take piano lessons from Dr.
Terwilliger (played with incredible zest and
nastiness by HANS CONREID). The boys parents
(Peter Lind Hayes & Mary Healy) won’t listen
to his pleas of mercy and he is forced to escape
to a world of dreams in which his mother is
under the evil teachers spell and his father
must be convinced that she must be rescued.

Even in his dream he is not safe from the piano
lessons that take place is a huge football sized
field with bleachers as never ending keyboards
circling fortress Terwilliger and he ultimately
must make his escape thru underground
dungeons, in which all the other little boys
that resisted music lessons are eternally
doomed and have mutated into the instrument
that they despise the most, (playing themselves
for eternity.) This scene alone is worth the price
of admission and is beyond belief, as is Dr.
Suess’s thinly disguised comments on children’s
oppression and the adult world of authority,
coercion and ‘if it hurts, it’s good for you”
mentality. Even the paranoid fifties thought this
film was too-much and besides- it was paranoid
of the wrong things!

Dr. T will be shown at 6:30 and 9:30 p.m. It
will be more difficult to understand if even the
first few minutes are missed…so come early.

AND AT NO EXTRA COLST……CATCH AS CATCH
CAN Made in 1969 in Italy, color. A truly
unknown film, in fact, it is not even commercially
available in the United States and unless your
response is as ecstatic as we imagine, it probably
never will be. So be sure and tell the Roxie
Management, who have also never seen either
of these films (or even heard of them) that it
must be resurrected!

Vitorio Gassman plays an Italian actor of tv
commercials, whose arrogance, masculine ego
and horror of dirt, the outdoors and anything
not antiseptic compels all of the animals,
insects, fish, and birds within a five mile radius
to try to destroy his disdain and mistrust of his
own animal and to crack his ego and arrogance
once and for all. If you think that is a bizarre
idea for a plot (and we won’t quibble, it is) wait
until you see the results when he is driven to
madness and BEYOND. See it at 8 & 11 p.m.

Everyone who previewed this film said they
thought it was THE funniest film they ever saw
in their life. So ladies and gentlemen, decide for
yourself in our offering of (possibly) the strang-
est film ever made AND the funniest film ever
forgotten in a true tribute to PARANOIA IN THE
CINEMA. AND THANKS TO THE ROXIE FOR
MAKING THIS BENEFIT POSSIBLE.

“Anything that does not kill me
makes me stronger”
– F. W. Nietzsche

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RULES GOVERNING A HEARSE AS
SET FORTH IN MORTICIAN’S
MONTHLY DIGEST
I The hearse can be used for newsletter
events, transporting materials to set up an
event and scouting, although newsletter
events take precedence over all others. Spot
events are qualified by calling and contacting
five other members to ask them to accompany
you. They do not have to be able to though.
Scouting is the same and transporting is taking
one other with you.

II The hearse is available to rent to other
members of the club, for moving, etc. at the
rate of 15 cents a mile plus gas (fee set by
our mechanic) and the renter must get one
of the donors to drive.

III There must be two people in the hearse
at all times, in the cab, to help the driver park
and pass and to be a witness in disputes (the
hearse is 19 feet long).

IV The hearse can not be driven under the
influence of drugs or alcohol and NO drugs
and NO unsealed or open containers of liquor
can be in the hearse at any time.

V A logbook will be placed in the hearse with
two uses:
A) Beginning Mileage/ Driver/ How many
riders/ Use Fee Collected/ Ending Mileage
B) To reserve the hearse for future events,
see instructions on the back page. These
will be called in to the newsletter editor at
noon on the day events are due and these
reservations will take precedence over any
events from any other source.

VI Use Fee: A straight 75 cents per
person will be collected at the BEGINNING of
each trip including the driver. The driver (or
the fund) will not, repeat, NOT loan this money
and it will be borrowed from another rider or
the hapless individual will have to ride in another
car.

VII Gas will be divided evenly between all
riders, including the driver, based on 15 cents
a mile. This fee could change as we get more
data on the way the car drives. It must be
TOPPED OFF!

VIII INSURANCE: No matter who
is driving, under Cal State Law, registered
owner must sue registered owner. The car is
in David Warren’s name and insurance will be
purchased on a quarterly basis.

IX Tickets: Tickets will also be on David’s
name if the car is parked or towed when they
are received. Every ticket a driver receives
must be paid within 10 days and the DRIVER is
ultimately responsible for tickets and towing
and it is up to THEM to convince their riders
that they should share in the cost since it is
ultimately their judgment that is responsible.

X Parking: The hearse must be parked
a reasonable distance (4-6 blocks) if possible)
from the site of an illegal event. We cannot
park in metered spaces because it is illegal to
take up more than one parking space where
there are meters. We have to park in unlimited
areas of up to 30 minutes in a yellow zone
after 6 pm but before that you will be ticketed
after a half hour just like anyone else.

XI The gas tank must be filled at the end of
each trip, and must be topped off. Since every
one will have been taken home before the final
mileage is computed. When the event is over
and you are taking people to their homes, and
a round figure to the mileage you already have
and estimate where it will be by the time you
fill it completely up and the end. Do not let any
one out before this is done. The use and gas
fee is from departure point to each individual’s
home, thus justifying so many expenses
(somewhat).

XII The car will be parked on Lincoln between
14th and 12th Ave. on the SOUTH side of the
street. If it is parked on the North side, along
the park, it will be towed! It must be locked.

XIII The keyholders are the original donors,
who do not consider themselves owners and are
bound by the same rules as everyone else. In
fact, they made them- to use the hearse, to
rent it, you must talk one of them into driving
it for you. These donors now, as of Jan. 11,
1978 are: Adrienne Burk, David Warren, Pierre
Barral, Kathy Hearty, Bob Campbell, John Law,
Jayson Wechter, Todd Strong, Peter Field, Gary
Warner, Jim Freund, and Steve Mobia.

Rules are seen here as present ways to avoid
future conflicts. There will probably be additional
rules as additional problems arrive. The use fee is
for repairs to be incurred at a later date and to
save up for registration ($76 a year). We will be
gathering a list of 24 hour gas stations in the
back of the log book- any entries you can provide
in different parts of town would be appreciated.
Also late night restaurants.

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